Cause and Effect

Why do I believe that our problems are solvable? Because I know how we made them. They are not the result of magic, they are the result of choices.

Energy — The U.S. government has not invested heavily in alternative energy. The result is that we don’t have alternatives. So we are dependent on oil.

Healthcare — Our system gives strong incentives to insurers to confuse and shortchange patients and doctors. So this is what they do.

Economy — We’ve encouraged globalization, driving wages down, and cheap credit, driving consumption up. So we have a ton of debt.

Iraq — We unnecessarily invaded a country in the hope of influencing a region. The people in that region don’t want to be influenced. So they rebelled.

Steroids — Steroids give baseball players an advantage.  The league did not test for steroid use and largely ignored it.  So players took steroids.

There are many steps and many intermediate causes that link the broad premises and conclusions I’ve given above. These are relevant but hardly central. If I go to a casino to play roulette, I am going to lose. The particular number that breaks my bank is only a historical curiosity.  It is going to happen one way or another.

Barry Bonds Should Be a Yankee.

With Matsui on the shelf and Giambi fading fast, I can’t think of a better shot in the ass arm for the Yanks than signing Barry Bonds up to be their DH. Not only would the team get a still very dangerous hitter (.480 OBP in 2007) for a paltry, prorated $360,000—they’d get him at his most motivated. Bonds would want to show up all of MLB after what appears to be seven months of blatant collusion, plus he needs only 65 hits to reach 3,000 for his career. And we all know that Bonds cares about stuff like that.

Picture him in the left-handed batter’s box at Ruth’s House, the right-field foul pole only 314 feet away. He’s already passed Hank Aaron, people. What’s the harm in a few more dingers?

Yeah, Bonds is kind of jerky. But a) I’m sick of the sanctimony. And b) I think it’s obvious now that he’s being singled out not because he’s the only jerk in baseball, but because he’s the jerk who’s made MLB look the worst. He’s the head of the steroid dragon, so they cut him off. And c) A jerk like Bonds is EXACTLY what the Yankees need now. They need to reclaim their reputation as the “Evil Empire” (while simultaneously carrying on the Steinbrenner tradition of “compassion” for troubled players, cf. Strawberry, Gooden). Right now there’s no drama, no electrical charge, to get the team out of its season-long rut. Their team leaders are wusses and frankly, they suck. Let New York sign Bonds, and it will be a circus, and it will be crazy. And the Yankees will make the playoffs. And it will be fun to watch.

A-Rod’s Baby Got Pettite’s Back

Today at a press conference, Alex Rodriguez (pictured above with wife, Cynthia, in a fountain) stuck up for former teammate Andy Pettite, despite Pettite’s admitted use of steroids:

“Andy is one of the greatest human beings I’ve ever met,” Rodriguez said. “I have two daughters — well, I have one and one on the way. If I had a daughter, I would want ‘em to marry Andy Pettitte. The age difference might be a little awkward, but in today’s day and age anything is possible.”

Oh… kaaaaaay….

How do you prove a negative?

In his testimony, Roger Clemens says: “If I am guilty of anything, it is of being too trusting of everyone, wanting to see the best in everyone, being too nice to everyone.”

Kind of reminds me of a line from last night’s Simpsons rerun:

Brad Goodman [motivational self-help speaker]: OK, folks. Let me hear what’s troubling you. Don’t be shy, yell it out. Everybody, go!
Mr. Burns: I’m too nice!

More on Roger’s many kind and charitable acts here. I particularly like this one, from 1986:

Roger Clemens wins his first Cy Young and the AL MVP, prompting Hall of Famer Hank Aaron to opine that pitchers should not be eligible for the MVP, since they don’t play every day. Clemens thoughtfully responds, “I wish he were still playing. I’d probably crack his head open to show him how valuable I was.”

Lower, faster

I have to say that I am somewhat disturbed by Brian McNamee’s claim that he has syringes with Clemens’ DNA and incriminating substances on them. Even if the claims are accurate — it is Clemens DNA and HGH or whatever on there — I don’t think this is much in the way of evidence that Clemens is guilty. I would want to see some evidence that McNamee did not fabricate these results, taking Clemens’ DNA from his alleged B-12 shots and then mimicking injections with HGH in some manner after the fact.

Julio Franco, 1996

Ron Gant, 1995 and 1990

Darryl Strawberry, 1991 and 1988

Bobby Bonilla, Baltimore, 1996

JuanGon, 1993